Sometimes it’s all I need.
~Kevin
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Turning my back to, to get back to.
When we are at the lake, one of our favorite hobbies is radio controlled boats. I have a few and my son is just starting out on our slower ones.
Like a typical guy, I’m all about fast, Fast, FAST! My high end model goes extremely that. *chest thump*
I had a video of me buzzing around with it while my boy was playing with his plastic boat. I’d creep in real slow so he could see the r/c boat (which he loves) and then I’d zoom off into deeper water. 
My boat had a strange sound to it. As most of the planet does now, I posted the video on a FB page related to high end hobby radio controlled boats. Two gentlemen suggested a cure for the issue I was having and I thanked them.
Four others told me I was a horrible father.
Yes, you read that right.
Idiot. Amazed at the stupidity. You should know better. Reckless.
Then the mothership. You must not care much about him by putting him in a dangerous situation.
Deep, deep breaths.
My heart was ready to exit my chest. I was in destroy mode and all I had was a smart phone to get to them.
I set the phone on the night stand. I watched a bit of whatever show was on the television. My heart rate came back down to the high end of normal.
If I was to try and understand their reasoning, yes the boat is fast. Yes, it has a sharp propeller. Yes, only an idiot would scream past anyone, especially a child, going full speed. Those are the things I came up with if I was to try and understand them. I’m not.
In respect to everything in the news, possibly everyone is hyper-sensitive to children and their welfare. I do get that. I also fully understand if a child is clear danger or a law is being broken that protects them. Speak up.
I can find countless videos showing something I may not be in favor of.
Check out this 4 year old take on jumps with his dirt bike like a pro!
Not my 4 year old! No way! Mine wears a helmet and training wheels on his bicycle! He’s not jumping mounds of dirt on a dirt bike. But, like I said…not my 4 year old. You’re right Kevin…he’s not. Keep scrolling.
Being in social media and blogging, I’m very aware of subjects that will get you cooked. I have no desire for controversy, however there is a line where you want to tell someone to F off. I’ve decided that time is usually when you can honestly say to yourself, if you had kept scrolling your life would still be the same. No one’s in danger, no one’s being hurt, nothing immoral. Move on.
If you find yourself in a spot where some troll wants to inject negativity into your post, thoughts or story, delete them. Engaging is time. Your time is important.
I picked the phone up off the night stand. Delete post? YES. Leave group? YES.
Turn away and move on with the life you work hard at having. Take the time and keystrokes you would’ve wasted on a thread war and make a blog about it.
Positive from a negative, thanks a**holes for the inspiration.
~Kevin
Even when life won’t move.
This weekend my spouse and I had a fair amount of future talk. Where we are, where we want to be, how to get there.
Sometimes the world just seems to stop. It won’t budge. It could be your health, finances or a relationship gone stale. If I’m not in the right frame of mind, a position like this is the perfect bait for depression. But it’s not just for those of us who struggle with it. Everyone has days, weeks, months (god forbid years) that their world won’t rotate.
Can you convince yourself it’s not worth it? Oh, so easy.
Can you convince yourself to try harder? Way more difficult.
My boy and I are avid frog hunters. When I say “hunt” I mean we track, stalk, capture and then go through a process of naming it, petting it, getting a picture and then releasing it within 5 feet of where we wrangled it. Very thrilling. Very Crocodile Dundee.
Lately I’ve taken a rubber lure, removed the hook and let him dangle it in front of them. They’re ruthless. They will try and devour that rubber creature and will not let go. It works great! He’ll nab one and just hang it in front of me, I’ll remove the lure and we’ll go through our process of catch and release.
This past weekend he got one that really made an impression on me. It wasn’t the biggest but it got my attention. It bit the lure and on the way out of the water and over to me, it took it’s front feet (hands) and literally pulled itself up the line to be able to fully engulf the lure. It literally clawed the lure into it’s mouth. Very Cookie Monster. We joked and laughed and it went back to where we found him/her probably a little disappointed the belly wasn’t full after all that work.
As I scrolled WP tonight I ran across a friend’s post, “I am ready to live beyond survival” by my friend Sue. Very inspiring. I bet she never knew it would trigger a thought about a bullfrog! We all go through life with struggles and obstacles. Things get us down, try to conquer us and in a frog’s world, try to eat us. If you’re ready to live beyond just surviving, then I think you need to be that frog.
I have no doubt that frog would’ve been fine with waiting for a fly but it wasn’t just surviving, it was latching on with all it’s might to an opportunity. Obviously, it didn’t work but frogs don’t know that. For those few moments it was all that was important.
I catch myself half-assing my dedication to my blog. Which makes no sense because it’s my favorite thing to do besides my family and hobbies. I need to try harder and push further. I need to grab on and devour. I need to stop letting things slide by my nose. I have no idea where they may take me, but I need to latch on to things that look good.
Please don’t go out and find a scam and tell yourself “Kevin said if it looks good!” That’s not what I mean.
I could be happier, healthier and fuller if I latched on to more things. I think it’s time. I think it’s time to live beyond and bite on to more.
Thank you frog. Thank you Sue. You both inspired me.
~Kevin
Photo- My son’s life is catching frogs. Our beloved Lab likes to lay on the net and more often than not, won’t move. An innocent mind makes light out of not being able to accomplish something. That is a precious trait our maturity seems to delete.
Don’t be sorry for not saying Sorry
I failed at marriage once. High school sweethearts that didn’t last 5 years with matching rings.
I couldn’t make a 4 year relationship work with a woman who had 2 children. They suffered.
I was asked by a girlfriend of 2 years to move 1500 miles away with her. Having a career and family here, I declined. She was on a plane 3 days later. I’ve seen her once since then.
Would those relationships have worked if I had been a different man? What if I bent more, would I still be with one of them? Probably not.
I won’t disagree that they were wrong for me, but I did things wrong too.
You stubborn f-ing Irishman!
That was directed at me most of the time.
I look back a lot. I don’t want those women back. We did have good times but the bad really did take it’s toll. The bad which I was at least 50% responsible for. I’m man enough to admit that now. It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t happy or I was retaliating, I’m responsible for me.
My spouse won’t coil the vacuum cleaner cord back up. She has a softer, more passive button for our kids to push. She’s absent minded, a lot. If you care about your vehicle, you make sure she doesn’t back up anywhere near it. She keeps stuff I call shit.
Drives me nuts.
We’ve built a home. We have two children. Our Labrador fills our house with hair. Both our in-laws are wonderful to us. Our babies are healthy.
She didn’t coil that f-ing cord again. She let them do what?! Holy hell she can’t park. C’mon woman…get with the program. Why are we keeping this?!
Let it go. Before those little quirks and peeves develop on your tongue, let them go. Take a walk. Head to the garage, go shopping, get away. Walk away and think. You need to realize what’s at stake. Take your list of things that make you two you and see if it’s worth jeopardizing. Even a little bit isn’t good.
If I take a break and head to the garage to cool, she already knows what set me off. Case closed. It’s my fault if I say something hurtful or stupid trying to get her to coil that cord. I know, it’s hard. I bleed green and my temper can go honey badger real quick. Still isn’t worth it.
I failed my first marriage. I left two “step” children behind. My partner left on a jet plane (Isn’t that a song?). I’m here, because of them. I like here. I love here. Here has my everything.
Screw the vacuum cord. She’s letting the kids do whatever…oh well. I’ll back her car up for her. Don’t worry, I’ll make a list to remember if she doesn’t. I’ll just put whatever this is, over here for now.
I’ll say sorry if my Irishman gets out of line. It’s worth it.
Consider your life before you spout off at your wife (I should TM that)
and husbands too.
~Kevin
The endless dig.
Start by finding inspiration. Find a goal. Find love. Start a new hobby.
Find a new reason or a reason to re-light the drive to dig.
If you’re burdened with disease, illness or stress…you have to dig.
From this beach chair I see a reason to keep going.
He’ll never empty that pond, but he’ll keep digging.
So will I.
~Kevin
Wood you let it rot?
I’m building a boat. A boat for my son. I’ll have approximately 500 hours in it when I’m done. One of the biggest concerns I have is to preserve it. Special marine epoxy and paint. I’ll have 500 hours in this thing, I best take care of it and prevent it from rotting!
I’m 41 years old. I’m also over 359,160 hours old. I’ll focus on protecting a project that took 500 hours to complete and never concern myself with how much time I have invested in me.
Stop.
~Kevin
One battle in the war on Depression
Hey everyone-
I’m not going to write much, it’s all in the video. I ventured a bit into my depression. It’s a lot harder for me than my Neuropathy. At least with my physical disability, it’s predictable for the most part.
Depression, not so much. It frightens me to even start the subject in fear of not managing it constructively and having the strength to send it home afterwards.
I hope I help at least one person.
Much love-
~Kevin
