It’s the little things.

No it’s not.

It’s the few things.

Much love-

Kevin

 

Photo- My son and his mother. After watching for some time, I realized I should capture it.

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Which pride to swallow and which pride to keep?

Back in June of 2018, I published a blog “Wood you let it rot?” Aimed towards taking care of ourselves, it also gave a glimpse into my hobby and my love. My boy and boat building. IMG_2784

The project is still under construction and that’s ok. I planned on starting way before he’d ever be old enough to pilot it. I’m still ahead of schedule but the clock is definitely ticking faster!

I take a lot of pride in being hands on. I fix things. I build things. I problem solve and overcome, at least I try.

Building and racing boats has been in my blood for as long as I can remember. I see my son has it in his veins as well. It’s growing into a huge bonding experience for us. “My Dad can build anything!” I’m glad he thinks that because it’s my driving force that he’s responsible for. I owe him.

Heartbreak to me is knowing some other kids don’t have the means to learn this. My son is a builder. He loves tools and creating things. He loves being in the shop with me. He’s constantly talking about his boat. My son has every thing a boy of his nature needs, especially a parent that sees it and can help him. So many don’t.

Single parents. Finances. Family dynamics. All reasons why some kids don’t get the opportunity. What happens to them?

I have the knowledge. I’ve got the love. I’m good at coaching and kid things. I’m going to contact local schools, after school programs and counselors and I’m going to start a program to mentor these children who don’t have the access to feed their talent. That’s what I’m going to do. Perfect. Let’s talk the talk! Let’s walk the…wait a minute. IMG_2848

Re-enter my pride comment. I also take pride in doing things myself. I have responsibilities. I have a household. I have my kids who need me. I get it done. I can’t do this project without help. I have time, place, knowledge and drive. I have a ton of emotional support. I have people who care.

I don’t have the money.

Curse this world where every. single. thing costs money. Sigh.

Something’s got to give.

I can continue with my pride and never get this project launched and with my pride in tact, my heart drops for not being able to help.

I swallow some pride, I seek help and my heart feels better. Can I help one little mind? Maybe two? How about a bunch? I’ll never know unless I swallow some pride.

Pick Kevin. Pick one.

Kids.

So as my stomach sinks, I launch my GoFundMe. It’s asking for money, which I don’t do. I share it on my FB page knowing I’ll receive love, support and shares all mixed in with the passer bys. I know people will just scroll over. I know many read under the cloak of “he can’t see me on FB”. I know they’ll be some spite in “I’m not giving him money”. I’ll continue. I’ll keep going and I’ll take the brunt of my choked down pride and the work involved. I’ll take some criticism. Because kids.

It’s underway. It’s all laid out. It’s not funded.

My boat building education project

Maybe, just maybe if I’m lucky enough to stand in front of a young person someday and hear them say, “You helped me” I can tell them it wasn’t all me, I just directed the support.

If you clicked on the link, thank you. If you shared it, I can’t thank you enough. If you did more, you’ll hear from me!

Much love-

Kevin

Featured photo-Declan in the Team USA Hydroplane at O’Connor Hydroplanes. Permanent grin.

 

Dude, where’s the blog?!

It’s always been an eye roll of mine when someone says “I don’t have the time”.

If you want to do something, you’ll do it. If you want to excercise, you’ll do it. If you want to go out somewhere, you’ll do it. The only time anyone says “I don’t have time” is when they need an excuse not to do something.

I didn’t have time to keep up with my blog.

Enter bullshit.

I crushed all four seasons of Peaky Blinders on Netflix. Obliterated The Punisher and have seen every Gangster and Irish Mob documentary ever made. I must have invented some free time.

Great shows, lots of history and I’m not one bit better of a person for having those under my belt.

As I ran dry on those themes, I discovered some bodybuilding documentaries that would surely make me awesome and knowledgeable for vegging in front of the flat screen even more.

An episode showed an athlete and his life leading up to his strongman career. “You can’t read about lifting weights. You need to get up and lift weights.” Did he just call me lazy by sitting here watching him be what I dream of being? Yes. Yes he did.

My house is full of inspirational videos, shows, podcasts, books and info on how we can make ourselves better. We must be the most successful people on earth with all this info and inspiration floating about. We’re not. We just find another video to watch that will inspire us…to find another video.

Here’s my self discipline, slap on my own ass, stop watching other’s succeed first step.

This is my blog. I’ve missed my blog and it’s missed me.

Back to blogging.

Much love-

Kevin

 

Dedicated to my dear friend Chris. A great man, a great fellow Dad and he loves my son. My son loves him. “Dude, where’s the blog?!”~Chris P.

Turning my back to, to get back to.

When we are at the lake, one of our favorite hobbies is radio controlled boats. I have a few and my son is just starting out on our slower ones.

Like a typical guy, I’m all about fast, Fast, FAST! My high end model goes extremely that. *chest thump*

I had a video of me buzzing around with it while my boy was playing with his plastic boat. I’d creep in real slow so he could see the r/c boat (which he loves) and then I’d zoom off into deeper water. rc boat 2

My boat had a strange sound to it. As most of the planet does now, I posted the video on a FB page related to high end hobby radio controlled boats. Two gentlemen suggested a cure for the issue I was having and I thanked them.

Four others told me I was a horrible father.

Yes, you read that right.

Idiot. Amazed at the stupidity. You should know better. Reckless. 

Then the mothership. You must not care much about him by putting him in a dangerous situation. 

Deep, deep breaths.

My heart was ready to exit my chest. I was in destroy mode and all I had was a smart phone to get to them.

I set the phone on the night stand. I watched a bit of whatever show was on the television. My heart rate came back down to the high end of normal.

If I was to try and understand their reasoning, yes the boat is fast. Yes, it has a sharp propeller. Yes, only an idiot would scream past anyone, especially a child, going full speed. Those are the things I came up with if I was to try and understand them. I’m not.

In respect to everything in the news, possibly everyone is hyper-sensitive to children and their welfare. I do get that. I also fully understand if a child is clear danger or a law is being broken that protects them. Speak up.

I can find countless videos showing something I may not be in favor of.

Check out this 4 year old take on jumps with his dirt bike like a pro!

Not my 4 year old! No way! Mine wears a helmet and training wheels on his bicycle! He’s not jumping  mounds of dirt on a dirt bike. But, like I said…not my 4 year old. You’re right Kevin…he’s not. Keep scrolling.

Being in social media and blogging, I’m very aware of subjects that will get you cooked. I have no desire for controversy, however there is a line where you want to tell someone to F off. I’ve decided that time is usually when you can honestly say to yourself, if you had kept scrolling your life would still be the same. No one’s in danger, no one’s being hurt, nothing immoral. Move on.

If you find yourself in a spot where some troll wants to inject negativity into your post, thoughts or story, delete them. Engaging is time. Your time is important.

I picked the phone up off the night stand. Delete post? YES. Leave group? YES.

Turn away and move on with the life you work hard at having. Take the time and keystrokes you would’ve wasted on a thread war and make a blog about it.

Positive from a negative, thanks a**holes for the inspiration.

~Kevin

Even when life won’t move.

This weekend my spouse and I had a fair amount of future talk. Where we are, where we want to be, how to get there.

Sometimes the world just seems to stop. It won’t budge. It could be your health, finances or a relationship gone stale. If I’m not in the right frame of mind, a position like this is the perfect bait for depression. But it’s not just for those of us who struggle with it. Everyone has days, weeks, months (god forbid years) that their world won’t rotate.

Can you convince yourself it’s not worth it? Oh, so easy.

Can you convince yourself to try harder? Way more difficult.

My boy and I are avid frog hunters. When I say “hunt” I mean we track, stalk, capture and then go through a process of naming it, petting it, getting a picture and then releasing it within 5 feet of where we wrangled it. Very thrilling. Very Crocodile Dundee.

Lately I’ve taken a rubber lure, removed the hook and let him dangle it in front of them. They’re ruthless. They will try and devour that rubber creature and will not let go. It works great! He’ll nab one and just hang it in front of me, I’ll remove the lure and we’ll go through our process of catch and release.

This past weekend he got one that really made an impression on me. It wasn’t the biggest but it got my attention. It bit the lure and on the way out of the water and over to me, it took it’s front feet (hands) and literally pulled itself up the line to be able to fully engulf the lure. It literally clawed the lure into it’s mouth. Very Cookie Monster. We joked and laughed and it went back to where we found him/her probably a little disappointed the belly wasn’t full after all that work.

As I scrolled WP tonight I ran across a friend’s post, “I am ready to live beyond survival” by my friend Sue. Very inspiring. I bet she never knew it would trigger a thought about a bullfrog! We all go through life with struggles and obstacles. Things get us down, try to conquer us and in a frog’s world, try to eat us. If you’re ready to live beyond just surviving, then I think you need to be that frog.

I have no doubt that frog would’ve been fine with waiting for a fly but it wasn’t just surviving, it was latching on with all it’s might to an opportunity. Obviously, it didn’t work but frogs don’t know that. For those few moments it was all that was important.

I catch myself half-assing my dedication to my blog. Which makes no sense because it’s my favorite thing to do besides my family and hobbies. I need to try harder and push further. I need to grab on and devour. I need to stop letting things slide by my nose. I have no idea where they may take me, but I need to latch on to things that look good.

Please don’t go out and find a scam and tell yourself “Kevin said if it looks good!” That’s not what I mean.

I could be happier, healthier and fuller if I latched on to more things. I think it’s time. I think it’s time to live beyond and bite on to more.

Thank you frog. Thank you Sue. You both inspired me.

~Kevin

Photo- My son’s life is catching frogs. Our beloved Lab likes to lay on the net and more often than not, won’t move. An innocent mind makes light out of not being able to accomplish something. That is a precious trait our maturity seems to delete.

 

 

Don’t be sorry for not saying Sorry

I failed at marriage once. High school sweethearts that didn’t last 5 years with matching rings.

I couldn’t make a 4 year relationship work with a woman who had 2 children. They suffered.

I was asked by a girlfriend of 2 years to move 1500 miles away with her. Having a career and family here, I declined. She was on a plane 3 days later. I’ve seen her once since then.

Would those relationships have worked if I had been a different man? What if I bent more, would I still be with one of them? Probably not.

I won’t disagree that they were wrong for me, but I did things wrong too.

You stubborn f-ing Irishman!

That was directed at me most of the time.

I look back a lot. I don’t want those women back. We did have good times but the bad really did take it’s toll. The bad which I was at least 50% responsible for. I’m man enough to admit that now. It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t happy or I was retaliating, I’m responsible for me.

My spouse won’t coil the vacuum cleaner cord back up. She has a softer, more passive button for our kids to push. She’s absent minded, a lot. If you care about your vehicle, you make sure she doesn’t back up anywhere near it. She keeps stuff I call shit.

Drives me nuts.

We’ve built a home. We have two children. Our Labrador fills our house with hair. Both our in-laws are wonderful to us. Our babies are healthy.

She didn’t coil that f-ing cord again. She let them do what?! Holy hell she can’t park. C’mon woman…get with the program. Why are we keeping this?!

Let it go. Before those little quirks and peeves develop on your tongue, let them go. Take a walk. Head to the garage, go shopping, get away. Walk away and think. You need to realize what’s at stake. Take your list of things that make you two you and see if it’s worth jeopardizing. Even a little bit isn’t good.

If I take a break and head to the garage to cool, she already knows what set me off. Case closed. It’s my fault if I say something hurtful or stupid trying to get her to coil that cord. I know, it’s hard. I bleed green and my temper can go honey badger real quick. Still isn’t worth it.

I failed my first marriage. I left two “step” children behind. My partner left on a jet plane (Isn’t that a song?). I’m here, because of them. I like here. I love here. Here has my everything.

Screw the vacuum cord. She’s letting the kids do whatever…oh well. I’ll back her car up for her. Don’t worry, I’ll make a list to remember if she doesn’t. I’ll just put whatever this is, over here for now.

I’ll say sorry if my Irishman gets out of line. It’s worth it.

Consider your life before you spout off at your wife (I should TM that)

and husbands too.

~Kevin